Outside my bedroom window
Stands a majestic old tree.
She’s been standing there for decades,
Just as proud as she can be.
And every morning when I wake,
She’s the first thing I see.
This lovely constant in my life,
So magnificent and free.
I can see the early, rising sun
Peeking through her lush green leaves.
I can hear her moving gently,
In the summer’s warming breeze.
She has a personality
That she wants the world to see.
And her moods are ever changing
Behind her silent dignity.
She responds to every season,
In her own unfettered way.
All we have to do is gaze at her
To know what seasons on its way.
In the Spring she comes alive again,
As her leaves begin to bloom.
And beneath the sun’s attention,
You can almost see her swoon.
And in the heat of the summertime,
When her joy is magnified.
She has never looked more beautiful,
All “decked out to the nines.”
And when the Fall comes creeping in,
And a chill floats on the breeze,
She prefers to don more earthy tones,
And does just what she please.
But when the Winter’s looming large,
It’s impossible to hide
As her barren limbs droop soulfully.
They betray her grief inside.
She’s stood by me through all my days.
She’s watched me laugh and cry.
She’s listened so intently
While I’ve pondered on my life.
And when I see her dank and weary,
I will sit with her sometimes.
And all the years we’ve shared together
Will come rushing back to mind.
But both of us are strong and true.
We’ve become the closest friends,
And we will weather every storm
Together till the end.
My Loyal Friend
By Patricia A. Fleming
“ Your root is rotten”
That’s all it took
To bring me full circle
That and the Devil
In tattoo form
Emblazoned across the heart space of the young masculine that had uttered them to me after crumbling a piece of the magnificent tree ancestor that stands outside.
Without the kindness of strangers where would we be.
He had arrived to repair the fences to my own garden, yet somehow changed me forever, something this Scorpionic Full Moon promises to initiate within us all.
That’s life- Death- the ending of questioning our own morality- yet how often does the very guidance we long for appear in front of us in the most random ways.
It is our own continuing validation that seeks answers questioning the relevance with their arrival, not of them per se, but our ability to interpret the language.
Intuition is a spiritual faculty; it does not explain but simply points the way.
Florence Scovel Shinn
So why the sudden closure?
How could one person solidify everything I have been debating over the last six months or more.
Because of everything I had been questioning.
Over the last few weeks, leading up to this Full Moon in Scorpio I have been presented with what feels like a lifetime of lessons.
Re-vision if you will
For the ultimate test
The teacher, my own inner tuition system.
The exam, how to grow within my root core.
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity
Years ago I would have seen this younger reflection of my own masculine as a hidden message but limited the learning and as such the qualification.
Replacing fences, my assumption would have been to protect my energy, barricade myself from others and restrict my heart, my soul, into a vessel that could only hold so much of myself.
The Hermit within me
Unrealistically contained within the somewhat wooden belief that what I gave out depended on what I received.
Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites
A notion that has caused more trauma for myself personally throughout my life than any other darkness.
Affecting my work
My essence and connection to Pachamama
Yet kept my own torch of truth blazing underneath it all.
The united fires of my salvation
The maternal wound found in each and every Soul lost within their own subconscious sea.
The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into this world.
The archaic teachings of scarcity and separation, punishment for being born who we are.
A tale as old as time that has left man “often not so” kind, funnelling on many levels the very source of life and women experiencing painful creations of what the Feminine does best.
Within the subconscious deep waters of the collective.
The very thing I have been guided to stand firm and witness as a Soul Midwife.
If your lost at sea close your eyes and catch a tide my dear and only think of me.
This time my eyes were drawn to the Devil, helped by the fact I was indeed journeying with the Lovers card that day, the reflection of my own choices and their restrictions were no longer relevant or true.
But the external views of others and ironically my own biggest teachings.
Not in their lessons but my own examiner, myself and exactly where I came from, my root.
The fears we don’t face become our limits
I had been released, reborn, cliché as it sounds with the passing of my own dear mother and in this, I had found my own key.
The light bringer in so many forms.
Now, here in front of me I could see, alongside this guide’s debilitating dis-ease the shackles of my own actions.
My wounded masculine
Compassionate at his, my once, naivety.
Knowing full well that the root of my Ancestors continued to grow new shoots on so many levels, I suggested he leave “her” well alone as I repaired the inner fence of my Divine Feminine, my own bloodline.
When the roots are deep there is no need to fear the wind
Sometimes it is in the deep questioning of who we are that we truly remember what we are searching for.
This energy appears to be rising in particular over the upcoming full moon in Scorpio.
Not to defend
To act from a place of pain be it grief, anger, frustration.
But indeed visualise our soft underbelly, our shadow and the instinct that resides within us, that has from birth.
The multicoloured hue of our man-ness.
This will take great strength and completion on our part with much emphasis being on just how far we have and are willing to strip back.
We are all born naked into this world but each of us is fully clothed in potential
We have the tools, the very work that has been done over the last six months, at least, has provided us with what we need to reach our destination.
Our birth-day suits.
The skin within which we reside.
Naked, raw, in preparation for the Lovers next year.
Our connection to the decisions for which we have been searching are finally “bare-in” fruit.
In our stability and foundations, be it home, relationships, employment or some form of “normality” that has ripened from the teachings of our higher self.
Self-awareness is the key to self-mastery
This know-in is a wonderful gift, an ocean of possibilities, that one can often analytically drown in.
Without the rooted river of our Ancestral bloodline we can be dragged out to “see” aware of a horizon so distant any hope of returning to land ebbs away with each panic-stricken paddle.
It is here we must trust the voyage of our waters breaking against what was.
The connection we have to our own Soul’s potential and its ability to navigate the journey.
Through our physical blossoming, the vessel of any vision to be birthed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiwO1Vce4uM
It is in the murky waters of despair, the answers lie, through the unlocking of our own chest.
We hold the keys to our own imprisonment, this week we are to be gifted the opportunity to open the lid for ourselves, peer into our dreams or forever sink into the eternal abyss of what was.
You may find they haven’t changed, the question moreover this full moon is whether we have.
It is time to start setting sail, preparing the timber of your own relation-ship and finally boarding the leaders we came here to be.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live
With the compassion and the unconditional love of its pink hues this month take time to reflect on the following:
How close are you to becoming what you long for
How rooted are you in your own beliefs rather than others
How supportive they seem in regard to your growth
What deadwood needs to be removed.
For me I have come full circle, knowing I can repeat what appears to be the same lessons without watering down my own energy provided I complete them and move forward with the teachings through my own sharing’s.
I do not fear the thought of being different, separate, or any of the untruths this brings.
Like the tree that loses her leaves and stands firm I am ready to bud again in my own offerings.
Having delved into the darkness of what seemed like an eternity.
Journeyed the Dark goddess on more levels than I have words for it is the voice of my mother that calls me home now.
Death is not the opposite of life but part of it
Finally laying her to rest on the 6th of May, back into the arms of Pachamama with her physical farewell I am ready to share my descent, experiences, and medicine.
Utilising new methods of creativity and platforms: https://www.tiktok.com/@soulmidwife?lang=en
Embracing the expansion of my own presence for the wide ocean of potential it is and branching out, including the inheritance of my mother’s jewellery making business: https://www.facebook.com/S1mplyEve
My own harvests are to resume, not differently but from a deeper understanding and acceptance that can only be found in the embrace of Death.
The initiator of all births, my own included.
Therefore on the 5th of May, international midwives’ day, the 5.5.5 portal, I shall return.
- To our group with teachings, healings and game changer sessions: https://www.facebook.com/groups/200334081120129
- Collective and individual guidance: https://www.facebook.com/middleagedmadwoman
- Readings from a level beyond empathy, empowering in compassion, having recognised my own skills, finally as a Soul midwife: https://kirstydignam.co.uk/services/
Until then I shall be re-in-forcing the structure that has held stead fast throughout the waves of the last few years, myself, repairing any fences that have fallen, and take this moment to pray you are able to do the same.