Céline Dion

What’s left to say?
These prayers ain’t working anymore
Every word shot down in flames
What’s left to do with these broken pieces on the floor?
I’m losing my voice calling on you

‘Cause I’ve been shaking
I’ve been bending backwards ’til I’m broke
Watching all these dreams go up in smoke

Let beauty come out of ashes
Let beauty come out of ashes
And when I pray to God all I ask is
Can beauty come out of ashes?

Can you use these tears to put out the fires in my soul?
‘Cause I need you here, woah-oh-oh

Cause I’ve been shaking
I’ve been bending backwards ’til I’m broke
Watching all these dreams go up in smoke

Let beauty come out of ashes
Let beauty come out of ashes
And when I pray to God all I ask is
Can beauty come out of ashes?

Can beauty come out of ashes?

Songwriters: Martin Patrick Joseph

Sitting in my lounge, watching the electrician preparing to test my home, I couldn’t help but see the relevance regarding this weekend’s Full Moon.

The answer to my prayers this morning, debating whether I had the energy to “right” anything.

I felt the depths of the “dead-pool”collectively.

A time of culmination and closure.

Dependant on our ability to find the power within to finally call it a day.,

To see the beauty from what, for so many has been a “fire to the soul”

Not a re-birth, the continual deliverence of the same, but transcendance, a spark of creation like we have never or refused to see in our lifetime.


The sentence we have all faced, several times over,one way or another, in order to free ourselves

The lightening bolt of last years tower has finally struck, not through endings but the ultimate test of how we rebuild.

Reflecting how we “rose” from the ashes of 2020

Electricity is really just organised lightening.

George Carlin

Every occasion I have met “ole sparky”, be it my electrician or the Corona virus, the name hasn’t mattered.

It has been at a time I have been searching for something I believed to be the light for my own darkness.

The change required to shift my life onto it’s “true path”

Burn out is what happens when you try to avoid being human for too long.

Micheal Gungor

“Their” visit’s, highlight on many levels  why the electrics are literally short circuiting at a time when the masculine actions of the world are about to come under scrutiny

To charge the many colours of the Hue-man experience

Often, when I, like the collective consciousness, have been facing burn out, yearning for fast rapid transformation.

Ultimately with facts, figures, numbers, deaths floating around, statistics have become people, like a current, highlighting a dis-ease so deep it has bolted man “kind” to change frequency, altering life as we know it.

There’s no rule that everyone has to change.

John Travolta

For some.

All doing what is needed to “stay alive”

For myself, I often believe nothing really shifts, until I look back over the endurances, to see my own growth.

The last few years I have watched the Universe around me adapt to a pace I recognise, and for the first time in nearly two decades existence has begun to make sense.

Walking the knifes edge, alongside death and maturity in 2020 we were gifted an opportunity to adjust our vibration, with much needed humility, to obtain Pachakutti, bring heaven to Earth.

To support our health

Connect to each other

Offer services to all we could in whatever way was possible.

To became the family we have always been.

Achieving I AM unity!

Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

Brene Brown

In this I felt safe, I finally be-longed.

Something I had firmly perceived as a deep spiritually need.

At peace, having spent most of my life isolating, walking what I now know as a Shamanic path, my own journey during the “pan”-demic like many, was and remains to face my inner demons.

My fears.

My shadows.

My need to “fit in” in order to be worthy.

What would the rose with all her pride be worth were there no sun to call her brightness forth.

Thomas Moore

Having gone from doing my first live, last year saw my presence expand to hold space for an online group:

Reading, healing, and teaching retreats and workshops whilst aiding others to do the same upon a community platform, available to all.

This collective collaboration developed into you tube weekly energy reports and free meditations:

In addition to this my occasional “musings of a mad-wife” became regular insights into the expansive occurrences around us:

Fear is where there is no love. Love is where there is no fear.

Axl Rose

I conquered my fear of being seen, pushing through the irrelevance of numbers or social impact and marketing, to knowing I would aid any that I was here to, myself included.

I created for the love of it, alongside my Higher Self without attachment to outcome and climbed my own inner mountain, finding my medicine.

Facing the majority of my family ill last year, many hospitalised, including my cousin in a comma, my once “small” hidden healing abilities alongside medical training were illuminated with collective healings, ceremonies and therapies in busy wards and hospices for all to see.

Often including body altering compassionate release, rising above my own insecurities to discuss sound and epigenetics with oncology consultants, I became immune to my own doubts or the limited views of others.

The rose is a rose and was always a rose.

But the theory now goes that the apple’s a rose.

And the pear is and so’s the plum I suppose.

The dear only knows what will next prove a rose.

You of course are a rose but were always a rose.

Robert Frost

Once “different” and distant from my family, my own mothers transition healed generational curses, bringing me back, with awe into the very presence of a true soul tribe.

The final acceptance of this blood heritage within me .

With eventual recognition of the ever-growing Mother Archetype for this Hierophant year.

One rose is enough for the Dawn

Edmund Jabes

Taking a mere “hope” of abundance to the level of faith, having our only means of finance closed three times, I have continued to develop my own relationship with money and remain supported through my donation basis for all the services provided:

In truth I didn’t think I had really changed, merely opened the petals to the seeds within what I had always felt, to another level by applying who I am to life.

Death is the mother of beauty. Only the perishable can be beautiful, which is why we are unmoved by artificial flowers.

Wallace Stevens

Until my mother died.

The old, sick, matriarchy.

The artificial self-worth.

The plasticity of self-love.

The evident lack of essence, compassion, purity, and wilting of the rose lineage.

The very ley line or blood roots that run through the one Mother.


Don’t let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.

Groucho Marx

There were many thorns to be seen.

This morning waking to the draining wounds that come from being unable to smell the roses.

The beauty way.

The stabbing sights of old societal, dogmatic beliefs.

Trying to re-grow, at such a pivotal moment of release.

Teasing, tantalising, “winding me up” to become involved in a fight I no longer wished or needed to  bloom for.

The lack of sacredness pushed through the remainder of my own disillusionment.

Only fake flowers are flawless

K. Tolnoe

With an awareness, like so many, that all was not as it seemed.

For some the media.

Other statistics.

For me the National Health Service, on all levels, it was time for my re-tired-men-t.

To lean towards the source of my own light and away from the decomposition occuring.

The wellbeing of our mental, physical and at present spiritual health and all those in service to obtaining this nationally, was out of balance.




By themselves and each other.

Avoiding the Death waiting for them and as such the scent of release.

Something I needed to see in order for my own compassion to truly light my own soul soil breakthrough.

Like a black rose, her darkness was beautifully fatal.

E. Corona

Remaining in the darkness, the shadow, no longer seeing the light available from the path they had walked.

I had linked my palpitations into this Full moon, a common physical side effect when leaving the Aquarian mind to the Piscean waters.

Now , I knew, literally in my heart, it was deeper than this.

Bringing it back to my own inner rose, once black like my grandmother’s favourite, I could feel the shift.

Searching past the things that needed to leave, I arrived at the  pollen waiting for me.

This love is the rose that blooms forever.


The trust of divine intelligence, timing, my own connection, and application of spiritual practices throughout 2020 had rooted me to one thing.


The opening vision needed during my  “mourning”

My own.

The teacher, the medicine of my path and the soul midwife no longer required to return back to a “garden” that wasn’t mine to tend to.

Low worth.

Separation from the Divine within.

Removal from Eden.

The constant battle to prove, with egoic explanations, why sacrifices are necessary be they boundaries, prices, time, family, in short anything that helps others to live a life of “self” isolation!

Roses grow in slums just like weeds grow around mansions.

Richard Paul Evans

I had always believed I was a loner.

Never fitted in.

Questioned my worth or worse believed I had to veil it to slip nicely into the structured views of others.

In 2020 I saw this wasn’t the case, my ability to adapt to my own in-vironment, my intuitive emotional self left me able to connect to all around me from medical professionals to shop assistants, animals to Ascended masters.

It was here I found the remembrance of the Archetypes within us all.

“Because she is the Queen of spiritual flowers; and therefore she is called the Rose, for the rose is fitly called of all flowers the most beautiful.”

MaryRosa Mystica- Cardinal Newman

In particular this month Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary the combined frequencies of what appears to be deep transformation and re-education of what the Divine Feminine actually is.

The true “verging” of this full moon.

The purity of knowing we belong to no-one but ourselves.

We are responsible for the World we are creating and one of self will lead to a loneliness so deep it will be the very imprisonment of next year’s Devil frequency.

One way or another, with the artificial “light” in June from the lifting of what we thought were our only imposed chains, collectively, there is much to rise from in the next few months in order to truly feel, bathe, smell and grow into the essential love we have always been.

It is at the edge of a petal that love waits.

William Carlos Williams

I feel this deliverance already, leading up to my own light return with my 42nd year in July- being the Lovers and Devil soul path number, I can sense a deep intrinsic full circle.

Leaving me on the precipice of opening to the receptivity of what I have always known, myself.

February and March, historically, Springtime, being connected to the Earth’s rhythm is generally the time I birth.

My “sun” in March 2001, a “miracle manifestation”

Midwifery in February 2002, despite the odds against me.

My own Shamanic Death in March 2011 through ill health, bankruptcy, redundancy

My mothers passing in February 2021 and deepest connection to my own place here.

Love planted a rose and the world turned sweet.

Katharine Lee Bates

Throughout it all, the pattern, my love for Pachamama.

The Creator Archetype within me.

The mother

The guide

The shaman

The healer

The Soul Midwife

In this now, having faced my ultimate fear of being alone, like us all, I am grounded as I step into this Pisces season knowing like the Hanged man, I can see all perspectives without sacrificing my own.

The truth behind what “in-light-in-me- meant”

A flower unfolds to the best of its ability due to the conditions around it. And so do you. You unfold to the best of your ability.

Kuan Yin

Balancing this “weak-ends” Virgoan axis, (my own moon) through forgiveness of the self and our creations we can unite the Sacral and third eye into the heart.

Here with compassion intuition, and psychic abilities we are able to listen for the arrival of something new.

Our truth, the gateway to the inner union of the eternal rose

The seer “hood” available this Hermit lunar cycle.

Inititated through our actions.

Aligning with these will connect us to a higher space within the collective consciousness this week.

Empowering the sacredness of the human experience in everyday life.

A red rose is not selfish because it is a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers to be red and roses.

Oscar Wilde

To do so there may well be disillusionments gifted as part of the illumination process towards your own individual path.

Utilise these shadows to shed light on your emotional needs.

Feel into any crisis of consciousness for the fertiliser it is.

Balance work and service, to avoid the shock of repeating old circuits, clear, de-clutter but don’t forget to actually plant “nous” seeds!

Negotiate with the Yoni-verse your own promotion, debate the terms now, what do you need to officially release yourself from your own “lock down” what are you willing to provide in return for this “free”-dom

Creation is a multi-universal story, see past your own chapters to the very future that holds them.

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defence.

Mark Overby

As we slowly move into a more open return to “normality” this week, remember, if you truly know your worth there is no need to continue defending it, it is the vaccine to any mask you may need to wear, energetically.

It is time to build from the ashes of what once was.

To find the beauty within the remains.

To become the phoenix by:

Examining what  has “rose” up for you

 What you are willing to now seed.

Where you are truly planting from.

The vision of yourself.

 Your roots.

 Your place in Eden.

 Where you would be without your logical fences.

How you can support your heart to treat your own “black spots”

What nutrients your soul requires in regard to your tribe and environment, to ensure your growth is no longer stunted.

In the garden of thy heart plant naught but the rose of love.

Baha’ `u’ lla’h

I shall, as planned be taking time “in” until April.

I have organised my own de-weeding this weekend beginning with a study day alongside Spirit horse held by the incredible Elaine:

Followed by a ten-day immersion into photon light therapy to bring in the much-needed radiance that can only come from uniting all aspects of the Soul, with the amazing Eliza:

Allowing beauty to literally come out of ashes, my own Mother’s final passing will be released in March on the equinox via Despacho.

Using our familys’ now white rose emblem from the centre of her cross, identical to the one she currently holds in her hands, to give thanks for all she has and continues to teach me.

The purity of knowing I am enough, always have been in the eyes of the Great Mother and unconditional love.

The remaining flowers will be concentrated into essential oils as a gift of hope and faith for many.

Her jewellery will be crafted into the first Phoenix collection, in time for the rise about to occur.

Beauty without virtue is like a rose without scent

Danish proverb

I will continue to connect to the collective daily


Finding myself back in my own light and energy I shall, as always, remain a Midwife within the service of the Sacred heart.

 Holding space through readings, ceremonies, and healing for those, guided by Pachamama- minus any imposed restrictions, willing to flower into their own authenticity.

Until next time

In munay

Are you ready to open and bloom?

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