I am here
In my greatness
To live the life, I was born to live
I need no permission
All judgement falls from me now
Mine and others
And I step forward
Into the Naked Glory
of who I am
And who I always have been.
( Channeled by Kirsty dignam 20.20)
Can you feel it?
The nuzzling of the heart, longing to suckle from the breast, February promises to uncover.
The urge to extract the joys of life and share the abundance.
And the fear of not latching properly with ourselves and others.
If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.
Leading up to the full moon in Leo this month we can be the metaphorical cat that got the cream.
Not only by taking “pride” in who we are and this remembrance, but truly igniting the white lion Christ consciousness within us.
Divine will- let’s call it that.
Following on from much Indigenous work connecting with the solar plexus and Pachamama- we are seeing a rise in the energy required to feed the changes needed within and around us.
To tend to the physical, our bodies, our relations, our Earth mother.
And in this finally receive the milk of our rewards and feed from the curd of our just deserts.
But we must first acknowledge our own hunger.
Without judgement on who we are and our desires.
The raw opening of a heart longing to be satisfied.
What perfect time then to acknowledge this than in the month of LOVE!
Valentine’s day-celebrating the connections we have to each other and the possibilities this brings.
There feels to be a collective response of enough being enough.
A longing to reclaim our identity, vision, truth, love, intuition, ability to create and abundance.
Anything else, just feels commercial.
Which in truth is to accept we have grown, and potentially outgrown many situations.
What was once enough, may no longer suffice.
Including the “source” from our own food bank.
I for one have been having occasional moments of palpitations, which as I write these words from a space outside of me, are finally starting to ease.
My heart has felt ravenous at times and overindulged at others.
My womb space has screamed for conception and at other times declined all presence of life.
Experiencing more shifts in the last month than I have in the last decade I am having to re-discover my ability to burrow into my own sense of peace.
My inner still, OM or void, so I can truly hear my soul’s call and know when and what to feed from.
Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done
It took stepping back from everything for me- really acknowledging this fire within, on the New moon and healing my creative centre using the sun and a blessing womb rite to truly be ok with my own femininity.
I was done- fitting, moulding, proving.
Seeking to be heard, accepted, loved – realising the only mother that could do that was my own, internal, connection to the Earth.
I dreamt many times this month of the chalice Wells in Glastonbury- the blood coloured waters flowing, my hand on the lid, I would slam down the symbolic Vesica Pisces, declaring “it” was done!
What I didn’t know!
Knowing there was a conversation to be had, to listen to the voice beneath my footsteps with trepidation on the New moon, I heard my soul and mother.
She, I, was pissed
Calling to me on a walk with my dog, like the Aquarius Fool, reflecting my own path, my own initiations and journeys a force so strong rose within me.
Both I and my wolfhound howled.
At being something, we weren’t.
Through despair and hope, through faith and love- till we find our place on the path unwinding, in the circle, the circle of life.
I have, since, come full circle, aware of true sustenance, I am now able to give the lions share.
These expressions have included:
- Opening the Midwives “womb”– a clinic to provide services for the local community.
- Conceiving new way of working, empowering our inner “wheel to be real” through readings and healings.
- And birthing my first Facebook group- “There’s No place like OM” which originally started as a space to share O-ne M-oments- and has become an online course into walking the Medicine wheel, returning from the Underworld, treasures in arms, ready to feed all we encounter with our full ripe gifts.
- This has in turn led on to a huge reflection of my own path with a potential of books, courses and retreats to come!
But this cycle, is now requiring more demand feeding than ever before and subsequently more self-care, organisation and belief.
In truth there are moments I have,and continue to, doubt my own ability to nurture all that is being asked of me.
Requiring further opening of my energetic glands.
I have found this through the realisation of just how much I have to give.
The quantity of my own reserves far exceeding my own appetite, I am now leaking with potential!
Something that will become more apparent, for many, this month.
Everything of worth on Earth is there to share
Sat in my lounge listening to the words somewhere in the distance, of Madonna- stating she will be Africa, she will be the poor, she will be a child if the children are exploited, I found myself holding back tears as my heart acknowledges I too know what I am and what I am not.
I am the milk from which all my creations nourish.
I am the Madonna.
The black rose.
My spirit belongs to the Mother.
The sacred virgin and whore that chooses to feel all the occurrences in her own bosom as in truth they are her children.
A life truly lived, constantly burns away veils of illusion, burns away what is no longer relevant, gradually reveals our essence, until at last we are strong enough to stand in our naked truth.
And it is this, somewhat painful knowing, that will aid the internal flowing necessary for change this month for us all.
Whether it is current situations collectively or relationships, this February will serve to open us to the great potential we are by first showing us what we are not, through what we have produced.
This can be an interesting situation “in” deed, depending on what a “right relationship” looks like individually, and may cause a few upheavals in the lactation department- based on how we react with each nursing.
Forcing, assuming, demanding our needs to be met will ultimately be reflected as the worth we are starving for, that can only come from within.
The supply and demand of our own higher self.
It is here we can balance our desires against what we believe we need.
By sharing them amongst the nurseries we have become part of.
Gaining knowledge is the first step to wisdom, sharing is the first step to humanity.
This February plans to strengthen and support just that, utilising all judgements and outdated beliefs as the very “let down reflex” required.
And can bring around insecurities regarding our ability to perform to the level we believe others expect.
How can we ease this potential mastitis.
The concept we originally were created from.
The only prescription for the engorged Earth we are creating is to realise we never left Eden, we are the children of the divine.
And as such only really need to feed when truly hungry.
Sharing will enrich everyone with more knowledge
This positional knowledge remains still so elusive, unobtainable, coming not only at a price but measured with material gain.
We often are artificially fed what it means to be abundant.
Becoming obese on the belief of others, constantly requiring more unsatisfying meals until we show true love aversion.
A journey as old as time itself, once born our descent becomes a fall from grace, resulting in a wet nurse situation from separation of all we know to be true.
Writing this totally out of the blue- I am now aware why I have avoided placing my fingers to the keys, eyes blurred with tears of familiar frustration.
Who wants to see this.
To feel this.
To know that it is unnecessary and will only serve to consume all involved.
In a time where we are surrounded by roses, chocolates that cost more than the average meal and cards reproduced from an already depleting source of air- who wants to remove the muslin cloth on this crazy thing called love, let alone notice the damage misalignment has produced on the nipple of the World.
But it is time.
To air the original wound.
To uncover the impact, we are having on the very heart of Pachamama.
So keen to nurture and provide for us, waiting for Ayni, the remembrance within all her children-reciprocity.
Taking only that which we need and giving that which we don’t.
The more we share the more we have.
January saw a massive shift and upheaval in the energies available.
Preparing for the heart opening full moon in Leo we are being encouraged to embrace and nurture our sovereignty.
To give our riches to the world rather than hold back.
The strength we have shown over the last decade has become our rooting nature and it is time to realise the effect that has had on our emotional reserves.
Not only to the ground beneath us but all that sustains us.
Our lovers, children, animals, plants, selves and souls.
Finally seeing them as one, no longer separate, we can realise our needs are theirs and vice versa.
The more we all feed together the more is produced.
We can celebrate the love we all share.
In a way that fulfils and reconnects us to our twin flame AND Soul mate at this crucial time of year, in preparation for Beltane and the coming together of all that has been planted.
The sacred union within us all.
A relationship so often forgotten on Valentine’s day or any other.
We then suckle from a space of contentment not only in what we do but how we receive and ensure a cherished flow.
Discovering, developing and sharing our gift is a spiritual practice: It’s one way for us to grow stronger in our faith.
This February avoid the commercial “milking” and gift a rose- the rose- the lineage that has been passed down so many generations, the blood line of the Earth, the divine feminine within us all.
The knowing we receive how we contribute to ourselves and others.
Source always has a stock take!
And it is here many will become the Cheshire cat!
Experience chocolate, real cacao, ceremony, celebration- let the plant medicine open your heart to the knowing you were and always are held.
And write a love letter to your soul the fund of all your resources.
Come out from beneath the darkness, like the seeds of spring now emerging as we celebrate Imbolc- and drink from the milk of the mother.
The more you feed from her love the more she produces this is the cycle of lactation- there is always enough to go around- holding back- over suckling from a place of fear results in blocked ducts and milk “fever”.
A sickness that spreads and destroys any chance of nurture.
Take that time for skin to skin- really connect and ground into her embrace.
Realise you were never lost, just hidden, beneath societies covers, still growing, still held.
Avoid another Groundhog decade by knowing, truly feeling, in the words of the great Madonna ( on the radio) Life is a circle!
And it can be different!
It all comes down to you, to us.
Creating is about sharing ideas, sharing aesthetics, sharing what you believe in with other people.
Recognise your own medicine wheel, and where you are, what immunity you require, and how to return to the centre- the void- the OM- of the great white nourishment!
Life is made of these saucers of delights, to share often.
How blessed we are to feed from this tale served through time.
But this gratitude can only form the teats from which our children will drink, when we realise, we are in fact parents of the future, medicine people, shamans, wisdom keepers, guardians of the Earth.
Here to carry the source of goodness for our grandchildren and ensure their bones develop from the lessons we have learnt.
I, myself have another due this February, to be called Hope, and I can only pray this is what she receives from her time here.
This spark, light in the darkness , the very beacon we all answered- the creativity within- too often restricted- now longing to be expressed into the vessels waiting to be nurtured.
It doesn’t mean we must again descend, back to the dark night (time feeding) of the soul -all too often I have seen so many journey to the underworld unnecessarily.
Waiting, hanging, to remember the waters of life.
Not realising they were in them all along.
Becoming consumed with the need to fix, heal, be worthy, many never get to taste their own divinity let alone share it with others.
Sharing your knowledge is a way to immortality
Collectively we will feel the malnutrition of that this month.
Politically, globally regarding health, and universally in relation to the heartbreak of hunger and greed.
But all is not lost, far from it.
From this space, the surface now cracked has potential for a new supply.
We do not need to produce the barren land of the Emperor to get our point across.
All that is required is to remember the Empress that came before him- The Madonna.
The flow we have discovered.
The Spring of abundance coming into our heart space, bursting to be shared.
And do so with great FULL-fillment.