“What makes you vulnerable, makes you beauitiful”
I’m a fixed sign, A Leo sun and Aries ascendant, on the outside I am full to the brim with confidence and passion.
Yet underneath, my lunar underbelly lies the Hermit of my soul. The Virgo effects of imperfection, overthinking, overdoing and self-worth restraints.
Add to this my birth numerology of the lovers or Devil depending on whatever current perspective I am viewing and beyond the mass of communication and connection lies a deep vulnerability.
A need to connect to not only my own inner light, but my physical body, and my Earth mother in order to truly balance all aspects within me including the shame, guilt and fear.
A desire to step with Strength and vision into the Star and Sun that I am free from the chains my own withdrawal causes upon my ability to love.
I’m not up to par on Astrology, yet the last few days I can feel a stirring.
Not only through the ground beneath me, the whispering winds or the emotional waters of the recent Cancerian moon, but deeper on a soul level.
A resurfacing of the shadow, not to work through, fix, disregard or throw to one side, but to finally embrace and bring it into the light that it is/was.
I can sense it on the Macro, in the stars, and yet I feel great peace, joy almost, a knowing that it doesn’t have to be difficult, there is a coupling waiting to be seen, heard in its truest form.
Through the eyes and heart of the witness.
Like temperance on the Lovers card or indeed the “light bringer” of the Devil card, I feel the next week’s energies asking me to assume all roles and yet none.
Adam, the masculine, Eve the Feminine and the Midwife that will aid the birth of their merging within.
And how will this come about? From the release of the waters, contracted by this month’s astrological moon.
Scorpio, the ultimate sting in our “psyches’ tale.”
The revealer of all that stands in the way of love, for ourselves and each other.
For me, this has occurred through a rising vulnerability. A familiar feeling of things being “too much” or rather a mirrored aspect of self-worth.
And yet as I look around I realise this is indeed another illusion.
Having spent the afternoon choosing wedding photos with my husband I find myself marveling at how two fixed signs, adamant they would never partake in such a sacred union, have pushed through their limitations ad rejoined forces in so many ways.
Has it been easy?
When is any change simple?
But we have stood side by side, albeit in different countries at times, and shown our underbelly.
A difficult aspect for Leos, there have been times when we have allowed the odd tickle and purred from this recognition and moments when we have attacked.
Each episode stripping away our egoic skin to reveal the true love beneath.
Never one to stop growing, for my own “work” I have decided to take this one step further.
I have begun to delve into the underworld of my own insecurities in preparation for this moon.
And what better way to show this raw nakedness, than in fact to be naked!
Spontaneously booking a night away in the woods at a naturist retreat, petrified at the emotions already rising, yet full of anticipation and excitement at what releasing these fears will feel like, I can feel an advanced expansion in my own energy.
Returning to Eden, breaking the chains of limitations, expectations, fear, standing in full appreciation of the physical form gifted to me through the surrounding Earth, my beloved and my own mapped, scarred vessel, I intend to take this Sacred Union further.
To practice what I preach!
Not only with my husband and indeed other’s who may be there, but with myself.
To have the sunshine on all my body, every imperfection brought into the light.
To feel the waters, baptize my whole being, each emotion flowing freely.
To breathe every thought, insecurity, and judgment beneath the leaves of my ancestors until they, we, I am at one with all my consciousness.
And to walk barefoot, butt naked alongside Pachamama in the splendor with which she birthed me.
To heal and integrate the elements within and around me on a cellular level feels the real underlying theme of this upcoming moon, should we so step aside, remove the masks whatever they may be.
The should, the could, the must and mustn’t and return to the innocence we were born with, vulnerable yes but what of the alternative?
The fear of never experiencing these things far outweighing any concerns I may have.
The freedom I long to feel in who I am pushing my own birth, exhaustion from fighting the glorious beauty of my own truth.
I, you, none of us are really here long enough to spend time continuously changing our image to “fit” especially as we were already given a You-nique suit on our birthday that would grow and adapt with us!
So this full moon I challenge any that read this to uncover you, the nitty-gritty, less “desirable” outfits we have hidden and lets really have a good look at one another in all our splendor.
Here’s to removing our metaphorical clothes, being the real deal we wish to see in others, no matter how cold, scary or embarrassed we may feel!